Anal sex. Single mum. Depression. Seriously.

I know I write about this a lot, but this is what I do. It’s how my head works. It can’t let things go if there isn’t a satisfactory answer. I NEED answers in my life. If HWSNBN had ended it properly – by saying *anything*, however hurtful – I’d have just licked my wounds and moved on. But not knowing things – well, that drives me totally insane. Why? WHY? WHHHHHHYYYYYYY did you leave me? (Yes. I know. Because I’m fucking mental. Moving on…)

So I’m going to stuff this post full of the following keywords: Anal sex. Single mum. Depression. And I’ve created a new anal sex category and tagged nicely and everything.

And if you land here because you’ve used any of these keywords, you have to leave a comment and tell me why.

Seriously.

I’m not joking.

First, I really, really, REALLY need to know why so many of you are searching for ‘anal sex single mum’. I want you to tell me – explicitly if you like, I need to get my thrills where I can these days – exactly what you are looking for when you type ‘anal sex single mum’. Pictures? Single mothers offering their back passages for some action?

AND WHY SINGLE MUMS? What is it about anal sex and single motherhood, specifically, that you want to know? Is it because you think we’ll be more willing? Less up for it? I won’t judge you. Promise. I’ve done some kinky shit in my time, and I’m not averse to anal sex in the right situation.

It’s not a judgement thing. It’s an ‘if I don’t find out I will actually physically burst’ thing.

Similarly, anal sex and depression. Are you searching because you think anal sex causes depression? Because you think it can relieve depression – do you spunk Citalopram? Do you think it would help to give us something real to moan about – haemorrhoids, for say? What, exactly, is the relationship in your mind between depression and anal sex? Spell it out for me. Link to pictures if you like. I’m not easily offended.

Because while I was once amused by the fact that the vast bulk of my traffic comes from a combination of anal sex, single mother and depression, I am now bewildered beyond the point of comfort.

Please, put me out of my misery. Tell me what it is about anal sex, single motherhood and depression that you are looking for. Heck, if I knew, I could create the kind of content you’re looking for.

And then I could monetise my blog based on the increased traffic and followers I’d get. I could start having sidebar ads for lube and St. John’s Wort and single parent dating sites. I could totally get rich from your fascination with anal sex.

Because honestly, I could do with a break. Read my blog. It’s basically one long catalogue of woe, with one single solitary mention of anal sex that started this whole mindboggling trend. If you read my blog, surely you won’t be able to deny me an answer…

I just want an answer. Thank you.


6 Comments on “Anal sex. Single mum. Depression. Seriously.”

  1. it might be cold comfort but at least it’s not anal sex + single mum + depression + cats. because *that* might be slightly disturbing. as for answers? I’m all out. ask the blue people… some seem to think sodomy is the 6th love language… (which depressed, single mums – with cats – really love to speak)

  2. Sorry to disappoint but I never got the whole anal sex thing. What I do “get,” and profoundly so, is your burning need to know why he left. I know why she left me, at least intellectually, but it’s so emotionally nonsensical to me that now, a year later, I’m still in dismay, can’t believe she’s gone. My heart goes out to you.

  3. Lady E says:

    Dear MI, you have been through so much… I admire your wit, and coming through everything you write, among the understandable lists of woes, your deep desire to surface.
    You are a great writer, shame it’s being kept for chicken burgers, and you sound like a great person. Big hugs, and it will get better (I know, worn old cliché alert – not terribly helpful, but true). xx

  4. You have vanished. Are you still there? I’m going to ask if you are okay and I am going to assume the answer is no. It seems terrible, but someday you will crawl out of the black pit.
    Thinking of you.

  5. Madge says:

    I did a search on anal sex and depression because I wondered if there was any stuff about emotional harm and anal sex out there. maybe I should be less specific in my search criteria! But really, I know how life can mess folk up coz I had my heart ripped out a while ago and it has taken a long time to heal. I don’t wish to air my woes on here. So sorry you’re getting cheesed off….. I’m on facebook and have started friending people I don’t know in real life because they share the same interests and they post pictures of naked women. I like sex but I hate the randy culture that objectifies women and reduces them to objects. And porn that shows a different way of having sex that is all about sex and not about love and affection….. there doesn’t even seem to be any desire between the people…… apart from a need for sexual gratification. I can understand why folk need porn but worry about the effect it can have on relationships in terms of expectations. I’m a little depressed if I’m honest and I don’t feel like my fella finds me attractive. I feel I have to compete with other women and I hate that because I’m a sexy scorpio and I KNOW I’m a sex goddess. And I feel like he thinks I was inadequate sexually…. and it was my fault he took that other woman out for dinner (I said I wouldn’t air my views here) but I feel a bit debased by his preferences….. I feel like if he really loved me he would want to come in the traditional orifice rather than elsewhere a bit more often….. *sigh. Why are relationships so complicated? All the best. I wish I had the answers….. bless you xxx (and sorry for using your page to air my woes…… I hope I have answered you a little bit)

  6. TO says:

    OK, anal sex and depression. I was wondering if there was a link.

    I find vaginal sex much sexier than anal sex. But I don’t have a vagina. And I don’t have access to anyone with one at the moment.

    BTW mothers are sexy, and so are single women. So, single mothers…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s