Match.com and The Godfather III – the promise vs the reality

How match.com tenderly imagines The Godfather III brings people together:

“I like old movies, especially Godfather III, it’s not considered the best one, but that’s just me…”

How my match.com date imagined The Godfather III (and indeed I and II) could bring us together:

Ah, it’s beautiful, isn’t it? The kind of offer every girl dreams of… I should send it to match.com. They can do something with it in their next advert.

“I’ll finger you while watching The Godfather I, II and III”

I declined his (very kind) offer and instead reached for the notebook I carry with me at all times and wrote it down. When you’ve drunk the best part of a hotel bar and someone propositions you with a gem like that, it needs to be recorded for posterity, lest you forget.

PS. I actually only wrote “I’ll finger you while watching The Godfather”, which is what he said when we got got back to the hotel room and I clocked the big bed and massage oils, and he clocked the widescreen TV and DVD library. He added the I, II and III himself – which just sounds sore, quite frankly – and signed it with a flourish. I cropped his signature out. See? I know when to stop sharing…

PPS. We didn’t watch The Godfather I, II or III, but he was so very, very drunk, he fell asleep mid-fuck, collapsed heavily on my left leg and gently snoring. Can anyone tell me why I miss this man…?

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