Life is too short to be anything other than happy

One of my Facebook friends has the above as his status at the moment. He’s had a monumentally shit time lately – shit that makes my shit seem a bit silly. His Facebook status updates have all gone a bit New Age as a result. I like it. He posted Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Wear Sunscreen’ the other day. It made me cry.

But accepting that most things make me cry these days, I get an inexplicable amount of comfort and joy from uplifting, quasi-deep truisms, and ‘Wear Sunscreen’ is the pinnacle of quasi-deepness. (Hmmm. The opposite of pinnacle would be better in that sentence. Depthacle? Lowacle? Whatever…)

I think I might be a bit simple. Perhaps I only look like a multi-cellular organism – if you put me under a microscope, I could well be an amoeba, swimming around in a soup of soppy slogans. The fact remains: I am a fan of a motivational phrase. I love a bit of ‘carpe diem’. No-one can make me feel like a second-class citizen without my express permission, apparently.

The only one I hate is the one I hear all the time at the moment: “You’ll meet someone amazing when you least expect it.” My new stock response is starting to shut people up: “They’d have to be a pretty fucking amazing burglar or rapist then, since they’re the only people I’m going to meet while I’m sat on my own in my living room – though I suppose that, yes, it would be unexpected.”

So yes. Spout that one at me at your peril. But bring on the rest of the cliches.

And I want this little girl implanted into my brain:

Though watching her makes me want to throw up. Motion sickness. How is *she* not throwing up?! I went to school with a boy who shook his head all the time – a nervous twitch. When he was old enough, he got his driving license. How? HOW?! He shook his head left to right *all the time*. His nickname was Noddy. Anyway…

Don’t stop, don’t give up – keep trying, you’ll get it right. How can one so small be so WISE?! What is this Yo Gabba Gabba of which she speaks? Maybe I should adopt kids’ TV as my new religion. Something Special makes me cry. Perhaps Justin can be my God. He can teach me how to tell The Pirate to go fuck himself in Makaton, which will be much more dignified.



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