Do more things that make you happyPosted: October 9, 2011
Gosh, it’s a regular blogathon tonight… I seem to have had a lot of *thoughts* today though.
Like – my counsellor says I need to do more things that make me happy. But what if those things also make me profoundly miserable at the same time?
I have eaten a whole Hotel Chocolat slab over the course of this weekend. The very definition of miserable happiness, I’d say. If the calories don’t kill me, the price tag will.
And I just called The Pirate even though I swore I wouldn’t (I’ve instigated the last fortnight’s worth of calls, and texts, and emails, and oh, you get the idea… Can you call it stalking if you’re sleeping with them…?) And it made me feel happy to talk to him.
Here I am, 6 minutes later, still happy.
Wait for the crash.
Wait for it, wait for it, here it comes…
What kind of desperate, idiotic, pathetic, masochistic fucking fool am I?
THERE. There you go. Bring on the self-flagellating misery.
Are there any things in life that give you pure unadulterated pleasure without any guilt afterwards? The Boy, sort of, but there’s always the Mummy Guilt with him, and he is being especially *three* at the moment. All moments of pleasure are therefore counterweighted with moments of counting down the nanoseconds until bedtime and thanking the Lord for darker nights because you can bung him in the bath 15 minutes early and he’s none the wiser.
Walking the dog. I think that’s it. I think that’s the very best life has to offer at the moment. Ace.