In other news…Posted: September 3, 2011
My husband is expecting a surprise baby with his new 14-year old girlfriend. (OK. There’s maybe a lie in that last sentence. She’s 23, I think. But the baby bit is true.)
I am a little conflicted about this. As a woman, I’m not really that bothered. I actually think it’s kinda funny. My ex is in a lot of debt. A LOT. And he can only afford minimum payments on his gazillion credit cards, so it isn’t going to go anywhere fast. And his new girlfriend only earns minimum wage. One of his biggest gripes when we were together was that we had no money. He worked and worked to no end. It was depressing. We never DID anything, stuck in the house all the time…
Think it was bad with me, with my well-paid job that kept you in posh cars? Enjoy it on the poverty line with your new family and ex-wife to make maintenance payments to, my love… Ah, so satisfying.
But as a mother, I am furious. Our son, who’s already taken such a backseat it’s like my ex is driving a limousine, will now end up in the boot. Or dumped by the side of the road. My ex is already whinging on about not having enough money to give me maintenance now he’s got a bigger family. Is it really my problem that you and your new child fiancee don’t have a big enough IQ between you to figure out contraception? At the minute, he’s giving me £100 a month. My childcare alone is over £600. Fucking man.
The baby news means he now wants to push the divorce through quickly. I have no issue with this in principle, but I have told him I’m not signing anything about access or maintenance that I don’t agree with.
“Don’t you threaten me,” he says.
“Yes you are, saying you won’t sign if you don’t agree.”
“Oh, that’s not a threat. It’s a promise.”
My ex is a control freak. He controlled me for years. Not being able to control me any more is making him quite cross. As is the fact that I don’t NEED him any more. I don’t need his money. I don’t need his friendship. He has nothing he can hold over me, no leverage. He hates it. It’s making dealing with each other quite fiery. But you know, it keeps things interesting.